A man was walking down the street with his pregnant wife.
They are laughing and held hands. In his arm, he also carried
a big shopping bag with baby stores name in front
I saw them and I stopped. Tears ran down my cheek and my heart
feels like stab my a edged knife. Memory flash back uncontrollable
He is so happy now.
Oh why......
The world is so unfair. How come a person with unfaithful past
can be happy. And I’m here alone. Still searching for my own happiness.
Is it wrong for me to feel unjust? Is it wrong for me to seek for
fairness? A man that hurt me so much 4 years ago is walking down the
street with the woman that he cheated me with.
What should I do? Pray for his happiness and hope that it will
last ever after? I’m not a God and I’m not a saint. I’m not an angel.
And perhaps I never will be. Forgiveness. An easy word to say but
a damn hard thing to do.
I thought I have done a remarkable thing though.
I thought I have forgiven him. But yesterday I realized it
was only a disguise. It’s still an open wound and perhaps
it will always be till I found my own happiness.
Rusmi, August 7, 2006
