Chia2x

Back to You (by Bobby Caldwell)

I was a fool to be

Thinking just of me

And I thought my self we’re better off this way

And I thought that leaving you

Was the thing to do

And I’ve regretted each and every single day

Chorus1:

Darlin’ we had a lot to learn

But our heart’s returned

And nothing’s in our way

Back to you

Chorus2:

I’m goin’ back to you

No I didn’t know what love was

But darlin’ now I do

And I know it might sound crazy

But I’ve changed my point of view

Guess I always knew I’d find my way

Back to you

I put our love behind

Cause I made up my mind

That I’d find a way to spend those lonely nights

And I thought our love was gone

But you proved me wrong, baby

From the moment you came back into my life

Back to Chorus1

I’m goin’ back to you

No I didn’t know what love was

But darlin’ now I do

And my life has been so crazy

Just because of missing you

Living alone was hard to do

Now that I’m in your arms again

Make it forever more

Back to you

Back to Chorus2

I was driving my car last night and listening to the radio when this song was played. I can’t help myself thinking whether this song will be a reality between me and him. To be back together again….

I’ve read this phrase somewhere but I forgot where I read it. Anyway it said that finding a soul mate is like walking through a garden with flowers at your side left and right. You may only walk out from the garden with one flower and you may only do one picking. So after you pick a flower and you find a prettier flower, you may not change the flower that you pick. It’s better to really make sure that the flower that you pick is the best one and you did not regret it. Therefore there is a risk in your every decision. I do believe in that phrase. But I more believe that the path is not straight through the garden but it is winding with loops, so it is possible that you encounter the same flower again and again. Therefore you may pass the flower and hope to find it again, but the possibility that you may not walk through the same path will always be there or it is also possible that the flower already picked by somebody else. And no matter what you do you can’t snatch it away.

I believe that life and relationship is all about choices. God may have plan and cross your path and him, but it was your decision whether you want to go through it, or you want to look for someone else. A better one.

I believe loving someone is about taking risk. You may not know everything you have to know about the person you love, not even after years of marriage. But if you are scared and you did not take the risk, at the end you will loss the chance of being love and finding your true love.

A friend of mine once told me that if you love someone just let him go. If letting him go, means giving him happiness. If he comes back to you, then you know that he belongs to you. I never thought that one day I will say the same words to someone that if he truly loves me just let me go. Because I know I deserve to be happy and being beside him will not make me happy. The time is not right or perhaps we are not meant to be together. Will the road that we walk through will be crossed again and someday we will meet again? I don’t know. I truly don’t know. Only God can answer that.

When I heard this song, a lot was going through my mind. How many chances does a person deserve? For me, I only give two chances. If he didn’t use it wisely then enough is enough. Someone has asked me if it is possible for him to have a third chance. I said no. There is no such thing as third chance. Isn’t it all that we hear in the song or in a phrase always about second chance, giving second chance, deserve second chance, etc. But never about giving a third chance. The same person said to me that if Alladdin has three wishes, not only two. Perhaps it is true. But I’m not a genie in a bottle that can grant someone wishes. I’m only a woman with hope to find a true love, a soul mate.

I believe that God has plan, a big plan for us. Like a building blue print. However how the building will be reconstructed, it is up to us. The building might be made of concrete, brick, or metal, it is our choice. But the shape of the building is the same with the blue print. God may cross our path together, but it is up to us whether we want to take the chance or not. Whether we want to take the risk or not. I know this couple that was once met when they were still young and decided to pass the chance because the time is not right or perhaps they hoped to find a better one. Years after years and they didn’t realize that twenty years already passed. One day they met again, coincidence at a mall. Funny isn’t it, after twenty years they are both still single and decided not to pass the chance to be together anymore. That is their second chance. And up to now they live happily and hopefully ever after. I ask my mom at that time, why they didn’t decide to be together at the first time, isn’t it a waste time, twenty years, it is a long time rite? And I never forget that my mom told me that the time is not right. Perhaps if they are together at the first time, they didn’t appreciate their love like now and they can’t accept the others weaknesses. Because deep in their mind, they still think they are better and therefore deserve someone better. God make everything wonderful at His time.

Well… it’s only a thought. A simple thought of what I believe.

Rusmi, Feb 3, 2007, lg banjir nich di rmh.